Alma 58

(November 1, 2013)
There is probably no doctrine that I have a harder time accepting than the fact that sometimes we can struggle and strive and do our best and find that our efforts simply weren’t enough.  Many people during the war described in this chapter died.  I can only imagine how the other soldiers felt watching the Army of Helaman fight and survive over and over again.  After all, they were struggling just as hard.  Perhaps their testimonies were just as strong.  And yet they were seeing those around them die (and dying themselves).

It is a hard thing to deal with.  I look at others around me who seem to not have to fight as hard for the blessings of the Lord.  The things that are important – the things that lead to real happiness – seem to come easily to them, while I put forth absolutely all of my efforts and they just aren’t enough.  I don’t know how to deal with that – it is fine to read and believe that we must trust in the Lord to make things right in the end, but that takes me to the absolute limits of my faith.  Still, I suppose that is where and how real faith is found – walking to the edge of the light, and then taking steps into the darkness finding the way lit up for a few steps more.