Doctrine and Covenants 121

(December 11, 2013)
It is hard to read this, of all scriptures, on a day when I am suffering through a particularly large amount of pain.  On the one hand, you would think this would be comforting to read on such a day – after all, my suffering was not as Joseph’s suffering.  But, on the other hand, I am left with two pressures against me.  The first is that I feel like my pain is intense, yet minimized by the comparison with his – trivialized, almost, despite its acuteness.  Secondly, Joseph has the unshakable confidence that came from a life of service to the Father and the Christ who appeared to him.  He knew what I am left to believe.  He knew that his suffering would end in a triumphant and glorious resurrection.  I believe that my suffering will end in resurrection.  That uncertainty – that weakness in my testimony exposed in my suffering – has done more to disturb my mind than anything I could have imagined.