Mormon 2

(December 10, 2013)
The great terror that I feel, as I am trying to repent and change my life, is that my sorrow is not a godly sorrow that denies sin but rather a worldly sorrow that feels misery because I cannot always take pleasure in sin.  This is a particular concern to me, since my unrighteous desires are ones that will likely persist throughout my time in mortality.  I sorrow for my sins, but at the same time there is a constant pull on me to return to them.  I feel that what I am experiencing is godly sorrow, but how can I be certain when I still want to commit the sin?

The only thing that I can look to is that I want to not want to sin (if that makes any sense).   I think the pull towards unrighteousness is a common trait in humanity (maybe I am fooling myself), and while sanctification and the loss of any desire for sin is the goal the desire for the loss of desire to sin is a necessary first step along the path to that goal.  After all, the Ammonites could not take up their weapons of war even in their old age because of the pull that came from their old sins.  Thus these people, willing to kneel in front of their enemies and allow themselves to be cut down, were likewise pulled by habits and vices from their past.  I don’t place myself in their company, but if they share this weakness I suppose that it is not a fatal one in my life.