(January 27, 2014)
I keep finding myself pulled back to an issue that I once believed wholeheartedly – that the main reason for disobedience was a lack of faith. I am slowly finding myself convinced that I am not correct on that assumption. I always thought that if you believed enough, you would naturally (and even self-interestedly) choose to do right rather than wrong.
Once again, these chapters seem to say the opposite. In fact, my life seems to say the opposite. The best example of that which I know is the fear that I have of praying for humility. I don’t hold off on praying for humility because I don’t think my prayer will be answered – no, my fear is that my prayer will be answered and answered with any number of catastrophic events that will lead me to an increase in humility. Were I fully at peace with the Lord, I would not refrain from praying for anything that would draw me closer to Him. Regardless, however, the thing that is holding me back from praying for humility has nothing to do with a lack of faith.