(October 28, 2014)
The longer I go in life, the more I identify with David. This is both frightening and comforting. It is comforting because I understand what a powerful and blessed individual he was, and it is frightening when I recognize how he threw so much of what he was away. But, of course, the blessing that I have in comparison to David is that I have the advantage of learning from his experiences.
As I identify more and more with David, I find the Psalms seem to be speaking more and more directly to my own life. Chapter 35, for example, could have been drawn from a snapshot of my current situation. There are those who hid for me a net in a pit without cause. These people made false witness against me, and laid untrue charges against me. Where I was trying to the utmost of my ability to do right by them, they rewarded me evil for good.
At the same time, one of those who made the false witness against me (and who has demonstrated the greatest anger against me) has been severely sick. I have prayed for her health frequently and fasted for her a number of times. She does not know this, and she won’t know it (at least from me – perhaps she will hear it on the other side of the Veil). But as bad things have happened to me, I have seen their rejoicing in it (hidden behind veiled condemnation and faux pity).
So as I read through that chapter, you can imagine how I felt. But I also knew that David had in his character a weakness that was ultimately destructive and which I didn’t want to emulate. And so I read David’s desire for the destruction of these enemies as a cautionary tale – I didn’t want to see my false accusers destroyed, but rather hoped that they would recognize what they had done and the damage they had caused and to repent. That was how I felt before reading, and after reading I was impressed all the more that this was the only right way to approach the situation. It has taken a significant amount of prayer and effort to release the negative feelings I have for them, and that is something that I am determined to continue to do. If they want to gnash me with their teeth, let that be between them and the Lord – I want no part of revenge. He will judge – He has taken good care of me and that is more than enough.