Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Doctrine and Covenants 99-100

(November 23, 2015)
                I wonder what lesson I ought to take from John Murdock.  I think there is a lesson or a principle there to be had, but I am not certain of what it is.  But I think it might be this: I think the Lord may, from time to time, give us tasks to complete and challenges to overcome, and when those challenges are complete He will give us the thing that we desire.  Sometimes it might be after this life, but sometimes it might be during this life.

                I admit that I am almost to the point now where I think that with certain adversities I will not be given relief in mortality.  It is a bit of a dark perspective, tempered with an understanding that the Lord is still there with me and continues to bless me.  But I have arrived at a point where when I receive a bit of news, I almost expect it to be bad (and I am rarely disappointed by that).

                I know that sounds glum and gloomy, but it really isn’t.  The painful process I have gone through has been such a wonderful blessing in my life, and I appreciate the refiner’s fire that I have been forced to pass through.  Honestly, I wouldn’t want things any other way.  But I don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, and I wonder whether I will be allowed to see one before the bright tunnel of light that we all pass through at the end of our mortal experience (speaking metaphorically, of course).

                I think that, but there is still a part of me that hopes that the day will come when the hopes and dreams that I had for my mortal life might (in part) be realized.  If not, of course, by this point I understand and accept it.  But maybe, after a few years, I too will be given the opportunity (if I desire it of the Lord) to go unto a metaphorical goodly land to possess my inheritance.

                Either way, I will praise the Lord for what He has done (and continues to do) for me.

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