(September 4, 2015)
I have trouble knowing how to feel about the fact that the Lord will avenge the wrongs done to us. Even now, when some pretty horrible and unfair things have been done to me by those who were supposed to be supports, and even now, when I have been betrayed by people who I went to for help and instead was given further injury, despite all of that, I don’t feel my soul crying out for vengeance.
I mostly feel sadness, because I don’t see that the people who hurt me are ever going to examine what they have done and seek repentance. I see, in the Lord’s own due time, that those who have hurt me will bear the costs of what they have done. But I see that with pity rather than elation. The matter is so far beyond anything that I can affect, of course – there is nothing that I could ever do that would help change the way some people have chosen to perceive their own actions – but I nevertheless feel sad.
I wonder what that means. Am I missing something, in that I am not calling out for the Lord to avenge the wrongs done to me? Is that demonstrating some defect in my character (an insufficient understanding of justice, perhaps) that I should correct? Or is it possibly just a matter of a difference in culture? I don’t know.